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Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life summary Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life, series Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life, book Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life, pdf Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life, Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life d2c0d00c80 Out Of Nowhere, Like A Breeze In A Marketplace Crowded With Advice, Comes Byron Katie And The Work In The Midst Of A Normal Life, Katie Became Increasingly Depressed, And Over A Ten Year Period Sank Further Into Rage, Despair, And Thoughts Of Suicide Then One Morning, She Woke Up In A State Of Absolute Joy, Filled With The Realization Of How Her Own Suffering Had Ended The Freedom Of That Realization Has Never Left Her, And Now In Loving What Is You Can Discover The Same Freedom Through The Work The Work Is Simply Four Questions That, When Applied To A Specific Problem, Enable You To See What Is Troubling You In An Entirely Different Light As Katie Says, It S Not The Problem That Causes Our Suffering It S Our Thinking About The Problem Contrary To Popular Belief, Trying To Let Go Of A Painful Thought Never Works Instead, Once We Have Done The Work, The Thought Lets Go Of Us At That Point, We Can Truly Love What Is, Just As It IsLoving What Is Will Show You Step By Step, Through Clear And Vivid Examples, Exactly How To Use This Revolutionary Process For Yourself You Ll See People Do The Work With Katie On A Broad Range Of Human Problems, From A Wife Ready To Leave Her Husband Because He Wants Sex, To A Manhattan Worker Paralyzed By Fear Of Terrorism, To A Woman Suffering Over A Death In Her Family Many People Have Discovered The Work S Power To Solve Problems In Addition, They Say That Through The Work They Experience A Sense Of Lasting Peace And Find The Clarity And Energy To Act, Even In Situations That Had Previously Seemed Impossible If You Continue To Do The Work, You May Discover, As Many People Have, That The Questioning Flows Into Every Aspect Of Your Life, Effortlessly Undoing The Stressful Thoughts That Keep You From Experiencing Peace Loving What Is Offers Everything You Need To Learn And Live This Remarkable Process, And To Find Happiness As What Katie Calls A Lover Of Reality

10 thoughts on “Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life

  1. says:

    Hmmmmneed to digest this one before writing a review Some things rang true, some were rather disturbing I ll be back in a bitI m back Here we go Update After a long discussion with a good friend who found The Work extremely helpful in dealing with some difficult issues in her life recently, I m willing to acknowledge that when applied appropriately with greater guidance and or better explanation, many of my concerns as outlined below can be alleviated My rating is staying at a 1 star level because I don t feel this book explains those points well at all and vulnerable people left to apply these concepts from this book without additional clarification from the website, workshops, facilitators, etc can easily get the wrong message and be hurt rather than helped That doesn t mean, as I mentioned below, that there isn t good to be found in this book or that it s not helpful to many I just found some of the approach and particularly the explanation lacking Back to the original review Is it true is a very useful question to ask when contemplating what is upsetting us or causing us pain, as long as there s willingness to acknowledge that we may not have all the facts Can you really absolutely know that that s true is not a useful question If the answer is always no, which Byron Katie seems to believe it is, then there is absolutely no moral foundation Whether she agrees or not, I believe there are some shoulds and shouldn ts in this world People should be honest Children shouldn t be brutalized, mutilated, beaten, starved, murdered, etc Just because bad awful things happen, doesn t mean they should The key, in my mind, is to accept that things that shouldn t happen sometimes do anyway, that you have no control over other people s choices, and that sometimes that really hurts, and then move on with a determination to try not to hurt others the same way, to ease pain instead of cause it, not to accept that bad things should happen because they did Some aspects of the Turnaround have great application in the beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye kind of way Again, I m not comfortable with rejecting every should or shouldn t statement The idea that he shouldn t be dishonest can be turned around to I shouldn t be dishonest and become a great opportunity to ponder my own personal commitment to honesty The idea that he should be dishonest is simply not helpful or enlightening There were some disturbing blame the victim implications toward the end of the book when Byron Katie applied The Work to situations involving abuse, incest, rape, etc For example, There s no such thing as verbal abuse There s only someone telling me a truth that I don t want to hear Um, no Verbal abuse is real It is abuse, not necessarily grounded in truth, and no, it shouldn t happen It s also completely inappropriate to ask a woman to identify what her part was in the sexual abuse her stepfather committed on her when she was nine years old That s just wrong Likewise, there seemed to be wholesale ignorance of clinical, chemical depression and I m not talking about the occasional funk or feeling low which I believe you can affect by changing your thinking Statements like, Only you can cause your depression are irresponsible and can cause serious harm if people who need professional help choose not to seek it because Byron Katie said I should be able to think myself out of this Some level of judgment is necessary There s no path that s higher than another Really I mean, there are tons of paths that are A OK by me, but I don t believe that all paths are of equal worth And unless you think Mother Teresa s lifelong effort to serve others and relieve suffering is on par with Jeffrey Dahmer s lifelong path of sadism, death and destruction, then you too believe that some paths are inherently higher than others I disagree with her assertion that Nothing outside you can ever give you what you re looking for because it completely discounts a higher power God, Allah, the Spirit, the Universe, whatever you want to call it My most transcendent moments in life have come from surrendering to that higher power and allowing Him Her Them It to change me Byron Katie also seems to discount the importance of planning for the future and having goals While living wholly in the future or in the past is counter productive, we need to expend some energy deciding where we want to go and what we want to be and then figuring out how to get there Sometimes life will throw wrenches in those plans, but we can t remain static and expect to be truly happy And we do have responsibilities to others, particularly our children.While Byron Katie s book has some elements that would be helpful if used correctly, I m concerned that too much of her approach would, in actuality, be damaging I m sure the thousands of people who have experienced life changing events because of The Work will disagree with me and let me know just where I m not understanding her approach, but there are other, much better and less problematic sources go read something by the Dalai Lama, for example for the good elements in Byron Katie s book.For book reviews, come visit my blog, Build Enough Bookshelves.

  2. says:

    I listened to part of the audio version of this book, but I couldn t finish it I first learned of this book from a smart, very successful woman who referenced it in a talk to 250 of my co workers She mentioned how life changing it was to determine what was her business, someone else s business or God s business That made sense, so I decided to check it out.My first dumbfounded moment was in her conversation with a mother who was struggling with her young son not doing his chores, not doing his homework and sometimes lying When the author suggested that the mother needed to accept mediocrity because the world was all about mediocrity, I almost wrecked the car Yes, we might all be happier or content if we just accepted blanket mediocrity, but where would this world be Thank goodness many people refuse to accept mediocrity for themselves or their children.I was also disgusted by her nonsense that everyone s truth is equal That is patently untrue A member of the Taliban might determine what truth is for him, but most reasonable people will determine his truth is not equal to that of the most of the rest of the world Finally, the idea that we should just accept everything as is it is what it is she said over and over is absurd Again, where would we be with this notion We d still have slavery we wouldn t have civiil rights in this country we wouldn t have people devoting their lives to social justice, the eradication of disease and poverty, etc., etc., etc.I feel sorry for someone who believes the lies this woman is spouting.

  3. says:

    This book about blew the top of my head off.Numerous times I had to sit back and contemplate the book for a long long time before I felt prepared to continue.I recommend this to EVERYBODY It s another one of those books that would improve the world by major leaps and bounds if everybody read it.

  4. says:

    I went into this with open eyes and mind and ended up being quite disappointed SPOILER ALERT The story that really sent me over the edge was the one of the abused woman She was sexually abused by her stepfather from about age 9.Byron Katie must not be a sexual abuse surivor because her work with this gal both appalling and insensitive To tell a victim that they need to admit they are guilty of some part of the abuse is incomprehensible to me And to tell a victim to put herself into the abuser s shoes how he must feel about himself made me ill The abuse happened when this gal was a CHILD A child does not think or process information the same way an adult does It in no way was her fault I re read that chapter twice to make sure I was not missing anything that made me draw my initial conclusion, but I still felt the same after re reading That s when the book was put into the pile to go back to the library.

  5. says:

    If you want a life changing book, then you need to read this one today It is so powerful Years ago, after months of dealing with post partum depression after giving birth to my first child, my GP suggested I talk to a therapist to help me through the depression I ended up seeing a cognitive therapist for a few months, which blew my mind I actually got the tools necessary to help me deal with my emotional reactions to situations going on around me Byron Katie, whose book is at heart cognitive therapy, was introduced into my life a few months ago when Sagar Simon, who counsels with The Work here in Amsterdam, gave a sample workshop at my women s networking group, Connecting Women I won the free coaching session with him in the group s raffle, at the end of which, my mind was blown again He suggested I read this book in order to continue my healing at my own pace The book s basic tenet is that all our suffering is caused by our attachment to the stories we create about our thoughts Here s a good example because it s raining in Holland It s raining That s the reality It s not causing me any stress or irritation However, the moment I start thinking that it shouldn t be raining, I get irritated and sad Now, the thought that it shouldn t be raining comes to me in thoughts like I m so tired of this weather if it s not warm and sunny I get depressed rain is such a pain because i get wet, etc This book has taught me that the rain isn t causing my irritation my irritation is caused when I attach my belief that it shouldn t be raining Who am I to determine whether or not it rains It s not my business whether or not it s raining that s Nature s business, not mine How about I stay in my own business How about I figure out what s really causing my irritation Here are the bits of brilliance that I refer to all the time 1 There are only three types of business mine, yours and the Universe s Whose am I in 2 Universe, spare me from seeking love, approval and appreciation.3 Reality never lies.Katie s Work isn t without controversy It can be hard to swallow because, once you start doing The Work, you ll be confronted with the idea that you cause your own suffering The beautiful part is that you can also deliver yourself from your suffering.

  6. says:

    This is a hard review Her book and her questions, but mostly her interviews as examples have the potential to help a lot of people deal with interpersonal issues that she boils down to inner personal The problem I have is the potentially dangerous way that she applies a universal logic to dealing with complex problems The questions are general enough, and the answers are supposed to be generated by the people answering them Still, she makes it quite clear from the numerous case studies in the book examples from her workshops that it s all about owning the bad things that happen to you My concern is for the danger of applying this technique to an admittedly small number of extreme cases, such as those who are victims of crime The dialogues follow a predictable pattern and if mapped onto, say, a rape victim, would end with the rape victim turning it around and concluding things such as I hate myself for being raped or if you really bungle the turn around I raped myself Clearly this is not Byron s intent, but a mass market paperback in the self help section is a potentially tragic lure for people who self treat despite needing the help of a serious professional.That said, I can t help but admit that the book provides a structure to dealing with conflicts and issues This structure, whether or not I like it, changed me as books should in a small way Probably the case studies than the narrative The case studies revealed the complexities of the technique in ways that the oversimplified narrative could not Hmmm two stars Is that really true

  7. says:

    I ve got nothing against the message of this book or the questions it s build up around.It s just that it s all a little shallow and simplistic.There s so much to life, and people and their problems, and their stories, and their thinking and their feelings than Byron Katie acknowledges.Life is complex.And sometimes the way to clear your mind or look at life and things from a different perspective doesn t come in a 4 question package, no matter how well and often it has worked for others.I get the questions I get it.And at times I think it can be a great tool.Questioning your own judgements and investigating your own feelings and looking at them from other perspectives can lead to many new insights and open your eyes to liberating perepctives and thoughts you ve never even considered But and there is a but at other times, I would have chosen a different path, a different wording, a different sensitivity, a different way to bring issues into perspectives Blame that on my psychology training or my personal taste, if you like, but the bottom line is this I understand the questions might work for some people in some situations but when it comes to whether or not these 4 questions are the answers to every problem for every person, everywhere, me and Byron Katie certainly differ.I guess I just dont belive in a one for all solution In my experience there are many paths to go, and I dont believe there is a cure them all or a saviour, or one and one only remedy for life s hardships or personal challenges.I found it disenchanting and troublesome how fundamentalisticly Byron believes in the power of these 4 questions as the sure and only way to salvation, if not now, then later on.Over and over again she claims that the work will surely lead to the solution to everyones problems, and if not, it surely wasn t the questions that could be at fault, noooo, of course it s the people that just hasn t done their work well enough, or was ready for its brilliance Dear Katie, I know they worked for you, and I m really happy for you, and it s very kind of you to share what has clearly brought you and others so much joy and peace, but claiming it is the right way and the only way for everyone else is at both a little arrogant, and potentially damaging to the people in question literally.There s a saying I forget who that I try to live by, that goes something a long the lines of Just because they aren t on your path, doesn t mean they ve gotten lost There are endless ways, paths and healing ways to go and not everyone benefits from the same things, It all depends on the journey they are on.This might be one way, but I surely it is not the only way.And if you want to go beyond and beneath the surface level, I recommend you instead try to read Eckhart Tolle, The power of Now or Deepak Chopra s The book of secrets Unlocking the hidden dimensions of your life

  8. says:

    To start, let me say I generally loathe self help books I don t like reading them, and most generally end up throwing the book out, or keeping it as a source of laughter material.I would not have read this book if I didn t have to for a book club, and when I first picked it up and started reading I was like Oh come on. really But as I got further into the book, and really started to grasp exactly what she was trying to say, and trying to get people to implement in their lives. The simplicity of her steps, which breed deep insight in our own perceptions, and preconcieved notions. that we may not necessarily be consciously aware of. I found this book immensely helpful.This book is NOT for those who cannot self analyze at all, or do not have the ability to challenge their way of thinking in insightful ways For those, that do have the above abilities, and consider themselves extremely in touch with themselves. this book may seem stupid and too simplistic on a cursory reading The beauty of her method is that it can be as deep and insightful as you make it, or as simplistically stupid as you see it The choice really is yours.Sometimes the hardest thing, is challenging and questioning ourselves because we already know our secrets and what buttons to push Lies are easy Truth is hard.

  9. says:

    I was recommended this by my counsellor I was very unsure about it because a lot of reviews suggested it includes a lot of victim blaming and this is, in a sense, true Byron Katie s theory is essentially that we are always the ones causing ourselves pain She does tell a woman to figure out what part her nine year old self had in her own rape, what she did wrong.That sounds very discomforting, but I think I see why she does it When you ve had some kind of trauma, there s often a question of what you could ve done to prevent it Maybe you let someone do something bad to you because you were frightened You can believe almost totally that you couldn t have escaped the situation, but you still have that lingering shard of doubt and that could be a way in to learn to recover from it, starting with forgiving your own perceived complicity.I don t think Byron Katie is 100% right I found her attitude a little arrogant at times, and condescending But the basic ideas can be useful and provide a way to logically see how you can better a problem by controlling your part in it Likewise, it asks you to accept the past as it was, because that s the only way it can be you can t change it, only the way you relive it in your mind.I would say, read this with caution, if you do read it Aspects of it were useful for me, but I m still uncomfortable about other aspects.

  10. says:

    I have no idea how to star this One star because I think it s potentially dangerous Four stars because I think some of it could be helpful for some people Two stars because on balance I can t make up my mind I don t know Ultimately, I think Katie s concepts are too much for most people to digest without potentially having bad side effects The idea of letting go of the things we can t control other people, many of our thoughts, realizations that we re often our own problem and not the other person these are good realizations Most things in life that regard our interaction with others can be enhanced if we learn good boundaries and learn to understand it is only our thoughts about things that really affect us However, Katie s core philosophy borders on nihilism If taken to it s logical conclusion her methods could lead devotees towards a existential crisis from which one might never recover I can t in good conscience recommend the book for most people.

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